what follows is a genuine conversation which took place between lovely husband jeff and myself. in this case, the names have NOT been changed to protect the innocent, but they have been shorted into initials, to speed up the typist:
LHJ: today at work, andy asked me if we had a party last night.
ME: really? how come?
LHJ: that's what i said! i told him, "no. why?"
ME: and what did he say?
LHJ: he said i had glitter on my face!
ME: (trying hard--but unsuccessfully--not to laugh) and did you?
LHJ: YES!!! it was everywhere!
ME: sorry honey. what did you say to andy?
LHJ: (clearly embarrassed) i told him my wife makes cards and stuff.
ME: i'm sorry, babe. i do try to be neat, you know.
LHJ: i know. it's just that it gets everywhere...and it doesn't always come off...and it's so small you don't always see it...until it's on your face!
ME: (thoughtfully) i'm not sure i was using glitter last night...
LHJ: it doesn't matter! it gets everywhere!
ME: sorry, honey.
LHJ: (sighing) ...it's ok...
...awwwwwwww...poor guy! it's true though, if there has ever been any glitter anywhere in your house, it doesn't matter how much you clean, or how well you wash, there will always be remnants, i guess. personally, i like that quality...but apparently it is not a universal feeling!
next week, in part two:
glitter: a cautionary tale
(and darlings, you don't want THAT stuck to your face...just ask mariah carey!) :)