i rest my case!!!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
of course EVERYONE thinks...
i rest my case!!!
Saturday, December 29, 2007
my dreams are always strange & convoluted
in the one i was having just before i woke up this morning, i was driving south on 287 just where it joins 202 near somerville, new jersey...
junction of routes 287 & 202, bridewater, nj; locus of the action
...when suddenly the dream shifted and without explanation i was, instead, in a concrete stairwell, along with my aunt judie (known in our family as "AJ") and halle berry...who for some reason was trying to kill aj*...who was trying to order a martini.**
academy award winner halle berry, in happier times
being a loyal and devoted niece, i did my best to stay between halle and aj, so that no harm could befall the latter. halle and i would run up the stairs to where aj was and somehow, behind me, aj would manage to get downstairs. halle and i would run back downstairs, only to notice that aj was above us, peering over the railing and helpfully shouting over and over, "run carefully! run carefully!" to me. at some point it occurred to me that this didn't really make sense... (surely we should occasionally be catching up to, or at least passing in front of, said relative?) ...and i experienced what is, for me, a familiar dream phenomenon--that of my conscious and unconscious mind having a discussion about the plausibility of the action; like two moviegoers in a multi-plex:
conscious mind: how is she doing that?!
unconscious mind: she's crawling straight up the wall, like a spider
conscious mind: no way! aj can crawl up walls like a spider??!!!
unconscious mind: not really, but this is a dream
conscious mind: oh yeah, good point
unconscious mind: which also explains why she is lime green
conscious mind: oof--you're right! i hadn't noticed that until now!
the color lime green could not be reached for comment
as is generally the case, once my critical thinking skills kicked in, it wasn't long before i awoke. not only am i clueless as to the deep symbolic meaning of the dream, i still have no idea where the car went, how i got into the stairwell, or what halle's beef with aj was. all i can say is...if at any time today, in the course of running your saturday errands, you happen to find yourself in a stairwell with a starlet...*don't* order a martini! ...just in case...
*this was abundantly clear even though halle did not, at any time in the dream, brandish a weapon. thus i can only assume she had a video i-pod loaded with "catwoman" tucked in a pocket. yeah. that'd do it.
**a drink i have never known aj to drink and certainly will do my best to prevent her from consuming in future.
Friday, December 28, 2007
some lovely cards i DID NOT make!
the vicious chicken* would like to assure us that no brussel sprouts were harmed during the making of this FABULOUS card...although fairly immediately afterward, they did become a tasty sidedish! :)
(and of course i've already shown you the ingenious steph's masterpiece, here!)
speaking of cards
if you don't happen to like that challenge (or if, like tracy, you have already set bold new records of gorgeousness in the field!) there will be a new one starting...appropriately enough...on new year's day! it'll be a sketch challenge featuring a brand new, EXCLUSIVE cardmap from the amazin' becky fleck!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
a really *FUN* waste of 15 minutes!
to goof off, online...and i'm here to help! :)
should you need one!
no need to thank me, it's all part of the sacred mission here at
the divine church of the good blog name!
can i get an "AMEN"??! :)
Monday, December 24, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
the sound you DON'T hear...
Thursday, December 20, 2007
so if you have been
A VERY GOOD GIRL
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
the 12 days of christmas...specials
sherlock holmes: the blue carbuncle
from the first series of jeremy brett's tenure, complete with the original watson, david burke. it sticks almost perfectly faithfully to the conan-doyle story...which doesn't *entirely* make sense if you think about it too hard...but to me it's the ultimate christmas-themed mystery.
bernard and the genie
this little gem was written by richard curtis--of love, actually fame (a decent xmas movie as well!)--for british tv in the 1990's. it's basically a modern-day version of aladdin, with alan cumming as the hapless lamp owner and lenny henry as the genie. it is, to my mind, everything a christmas movie ought to be if it possibly can: a little bit silly (ok, quite a bit silly), a little bit sweet, fairly family friendly, and absolutely charming. if i was going to pick one favorite off this list...this'd probably be it.
Monday, December 17, 2007
...from my amazing & lovely trout-lovin', card-makin', long-lost sister, stephanie! believe me, the photo does NOT do it justice! not only is it lovlier looking than in the picture...it's lovely feeling, too! the pale bits of the circle pattern are reverse-embossed...and the inside has textured words...and a fantastic stamped sentiment...and glittery writing!
SOOOOOOOO WORTH IT!!!!!
(thanks, girlfriend! xolb)
Saturday, December 15, 2007
the best shopping trip of the year!
Friday, December 14, 2007
christmas cards and smoked trout
i know what you're thinking. you're thinking, "hey lauren, the name of this post is christmas cards and smoked trout; where's the trout and what connection does it have to the cards we see above?"
to which the answers are: "in my lunch" ...and... "none" respectively. i only mention the trout because at the supermarket the other day i happened to notice that in addition to packages of smoked salmon there were also packets of (less common in the suburbs but even tastier, imo) filleted smoked trout. if you were to buy some and carefully pull off the skin, (ok i just lost a bunch of people right there didn't i? uh huh. sorry!) break the fish into chunks, and add mayonaise, a little onion, and maybe (if you were feeling quite fancy) a bit of fresh cilantro, you would wind up with something which could make a whole wheat bagel--were it capable of expression--grin like an idiot. something smokey, and creamy and fishy....and in lovely husband jeff's opinion...completely disgusting.
and that my friends, is what diversity is all about! to which i say HOORAY! HOORAY for diversity! HOORAY, even, for seriously different, if not diametrically opposed opinions! diversity is great. it's what provides society with one guy who sees the glass as half empty, another who sees it as half full, and a third who sees a vast untapped market for bottled water! i say "HOORAY" because the very reasons and impulses that make us react in such different ways mean that we are thinking in different...and potentially complementary ways...which is something the world needs!
but i digress...which is so unlike me! :)
anyway, the point of the fishy treat is that it will (hopefully) act as high protein brain fuel whilst i am in full-on, warp-speed, all-hands-on-deck christmasizin' mode for the next few days. in the meantime, if i usually visit your blog: i'll be back soon...honest! if i owe you an email: it's coming...really! and if you have a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer:
hey buddy! i could use a little HELP here!!!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
mas tarjetas de navidad
(yet more bits cut from old xmas cards; dcwv patterned paper; creative imaginations, doodlebug & autumn leaves rub-ons, jewelcraft gems, foam tape, stickles)
having been lucky enough to enjoy a couple of warmish (high 40's low 50's) nice-ish (not precisely sunny, but not *unremittingly* overcast) days here in new jersey, the ice and assorted sky-based frozen crap which has been plaguing the midwest seems to have finally arrived. hooray. if you are someplace where this is occurring, please be especially careful when driving, walking, or in any other way interacting with said disgustingness! which is not to say that the rest of you should go about doing cartwheels in traffic or driving backwards at speeds upwards of 150 miles per hour, executing dukes-of-hazzard-style 360 degree turns beneath underpasses...
...though of course if you *DO*...be sure to take photos and send me a link! ;)
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
the last two christmas cards...
(k&co and dcwv patterned paper; making memories & doodlebug cardstock stickers; provocraft and k&co rub-ons; queen & co brads; plus: pom-pom, foam tape, glitter glue; the fact of the last two cards being a cat AND some sweet little birds did not strike me until i came to scan the cards in question. not only is it a nice--if unintentional--visual joke...it's an apt metaphor for ME and xmas at this point in time. hint: in this scenario, i am the birds!)
the joy and the rapture of completing these babies lasted right up until last night, when, having done 90% of the writing and the labelling...i realized...i still need a few more. which will need to be made from scratch. it's a good thing i don't have the time or energy to panic, because between that and the fact that i took stock of the gifts i have already aquired...vis a vis the amount needed...in conjunction with the fact that christmas is two weeks from YESTERDAY...and yes, i am still fightin' my frickin' back at every turn...
well, let's just say A LOT of people will be getting money or giftcards this year...some of which may not arrive until early january (is it too late to convert to eastern orthodox??!) and/or be presented in [GASP!] store-bought cards.
but as cathy zielske so brilliantly said:
sometimes "good enough" is good enough
right on, sister! if i had the time, i'd embroider that on a cushion!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
the funniest thing my mother has ever said
this is one of those stories which has taken on a legendary status in our family. as funny as it was at the time...to me...it continues to become a little more hilarious every time i think about it. oh and before you ask, "why didn't she just share the candy with him?" let me say this: "i have no idea!" many years ago i placed my parents' relationship, along with a few other topics, (such as particle physics and the appeal of professional wrestling) into a mental file folder labelled "stuff i am NEVER going to understand and thus can stop worrying about right now" ...and there it has remained from that day to this...
*the possibility that he was already deceased at this time implies a distressing lack of confectionary in the afterlife...in which case...i'm not goin'!
Monday, December 10, 2007
it's time for the super-surprise "last-one-of-2007" caardvarks' challenge! this one runs from now until midnight december 31st and is sponsored by queen kat designs. the prize is one of their super-yummy acryllic stamp kits, which...trust me...you sooooo want! all you have to do is make a card that features rickrack. how cool is that?! (hint: it's pretty cool!)
(cutout ornaments from an old xmas card, rickrack, (well, duh, it's the rickrack challenge!) dcwv patterned paper, my mind's eye alphas, jewelcraft gems, seed beads, foam tape)
of course there's more loveliness to be found in the rickrack gallery, where the queen kat design team's cards are joined by the caardvarks design team's cards...and hopefully soon to be completely surrounded by YOUR cards!
Saturday, December 8, 2007
since i have SOOOOO much free time...
...i decided to spend some of it playing around with digital scrapbooking elements! it turns out, all these years that i have made labels and things using broderbund printshop, basically i was already "doing digital"! who knew?? ok, obviously there's tons more to it than just layering pre-made elements; for example there at at least 9,000,000 photoshop techniques i would like to figure out (i need to learn to use photoshop more effectively in general, i know i am barely scratching the surface of that baby!) ...but... i confess that i found it rather exciting to discover how easily you could at least get *started* in this realm. oh and much to my surprise, there are tons of big-designer-name free 2peas digikits to be had...gratis! i grabbed me up some rhonna farrer goodies and made a little label for my xmas cards:
Friday, December 7, 2007
and now...my card! (place rapturous applause here):
even though we've concluded with the sketch challenges, you might like to check for a bit of news on the caardvarks' site over the weekend. you know...just in case there is something interesting to be revealed? oh yeah, and who can say if there won't even be another little challengey type event posting on monday, as well??
happy weekend, darlings!
*see, i told you that today i would be back to makin' with the excellent numerically punny titles! ...you did believe me...right?!
Thursday, December 6, 2007
and here is my card of which i am moderately proud...but in a humble sort of way, o'course:
(dcwv patterned paper, doodlebug cardstock, faux stitching & paper frill, making memories brads & plastic sticker, paper source puffy felt flowers, dmc embroidery floss)
of course by now you will have realized that the sketch is from becky fleck's new set of december CardMaps, and that design team have also made lovely cards which follow the same basic design, and that by checking out the comments sections of this week's caardvarks' posts you can follow links to see additional awesome cards from talented folks around the world. woohoo. so i think my work here is done.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
ladies and gentlemen: the jackson five!
and now shall we gaze upon the card i made for this challenge?
oh and the other day when i said that becky fleck's fantastic website was devoted to cards instead of layouts for the month of december? turns out...i was only half right. in fact, the brand new CardMaps set is in addition to the regularly scheduled PageMaps. plus there are sketches made especially for half-sized pages, tags, round pages, & minibooks. so basically, it's a place well worth checking out whether you are a beginner or seasoned papercrafter.
which means that next time, jackson five, you have no excuse for not participating!