exhibit a: the coveted york peppermint pattythis goes back a few years. in fact, i think it must go back about ten years, since my father died in 1998...and i am pretty sure he was corporeal* at the time this conversation took place.
the scene: a comfortable suburban home, just past the dinner hour. a woman sits in the kitchen, reading a newspaper and enjoying a "snack-sized" candy bar; her husband ambles in and immediately spots the chocolate.
dad (excitedly): we have peppermint patties??!
mom (apologetically): this is the last one.
dad (a bit deflated): oh.
the next night exactly the same scenario occurs, but with slightly different dialog.
dad (suspiciously): is that a peppermint patty?
mom (innocently) (though clearly busted, she's unwilling to admit it): yes.
dad: but yesterday you said you were eating the last one!
mom: well, yeah......but i'm not eating them in order.
this is one of those stories which has taken on a legendary status in our family. as funny as it was at the time...to me...it continues to become a little more hilarious every time i think about it. oh and before you ask, "why didn't she just share the candy with him?" let me say this: "i have no idea!" many years ago i placed my parents' relationship, along with a few other topics, (such as particle physics and the appeal of professional wrestling) into a mental file folder labelled "stuff i am NEVER going to understand and thus can stop worrying about right now" ...and there it has remained from that day to this...
this is one of those stories which has taken on a legendary status in our family. as funny as it was at the time...to me...it continues to become a little more hilarious every time i think about it. oh and before you ask, "why didn't she just share the candy with him?" let me say this: "i have no idea!" many years ago i placed my parents' relationship, along with a few other topics, (such as particle physics and the appeal of professional wrestling) into a mental file folder labelled "stuff i am NEVER going to understand and thus can stop worrying about right now" ...and there it has remained from that day to this...
*the possibility that he was already deceased at this time implies a distressing lack of confectionary in the afterlife...in which case...i'm not goin'!
That is hysterical. And I LOVE peppermint patties!
ReplyDeletelauren...this had me laughing out loud today. thank you!!
ReplyDeleteyou should write a book...I know I would buy it.
hugs,
Laura
Nearly fell off my chair ! :)
ReplyDeleteSounds perfectly logical to me .... your mother must be a very VERY wise woman :)
ReplyDelete1) That is indeedy very funny!
ReplyDeleteAND
2) Peppermint Patty is the name of an item of confectionery? OK, so now I understand Charles M Shulz's Peanuts cartoon a lot better... Hooray for punning nicknames! :o)
VCx
PS thanks for your advice re: the Christmas sprout cards. I had actually already been doing something remarkably similar to your suggestion... great minds and fools, eh? ;o)
Oh, your mother is very clever. Now I know where you get YOUR wonderful, clever, VERY funny sense of humor. I must remember to use that line!
ReplyDeleteThe funniest thing my mother ever said was while stamping/making cards with our friend (and in front of friend's husband), she repeatedly referred to her "bone folder" as her "boner." I finally had to whisper in her ear the difference in definitions. BTW< the friend's husband was my mother's boss at that time :)
okay.... now that i've stopped choking i can reply (i was sipping coffee at the same time i read that and started to laugh and choke at the same time - my daughter- who is in her bedroom down the hall yelled 'are you ok?') that is probably THEE funniest thing i've heard in a long time.
ReplyDeleteAnd you know i never questioned why she didn't share the peppermint patty - MY DEAR - IT WAS CANDY...! DUH.... and chocolate to boot!....we dont share - silly.. .well your mom and I don't at least :-)
thank you honey - i gotta go tell this one to my mom!