Tuesday, September 11, 2007

step AWAY from the telly!

my back has been out for a week. it's quite a bit better now; tonight i make my triumphant return to the chiropractor's office, where i hope he will put an end to this little episode! but in the meantime, laying on the living room floor in a moderate amount of pain, there is not a whole lot to do...except read magazines (my attention span for books has now finally *begun* to return) …and watch way, way, waaaaaay too much television. in consequence, here are a few things i am pondering:

1. *who* watches wwf wrestling? no, seriously. i need to know. and if any of them are over the age of 16, we must round them up and send them to de-programming camps. (they'll thank me later...you'll see.)

2. what’s the deal with all these real-life daytime courtroom shows?! there are like 15 of them–and i honestly can’t see how even *one* survives. if i had i time machine, i’d go back & strangle judge wapner at birth, just to prevent the entire trend.

3. speaking of time machines, the doctor who spin-off torchwood started on bbc america this past weekend & it is WONDERFUL! if you are even vaguely sci-fi based (liking buffy or angel would qualify) you must watch it! (this is not a puzzlement; but talking about tv reminded me to mention it.)

4. are we thinking that grown women (or men) could actually find justin timberlake sexy????! he looks *12*, tops. even with the incipient receding hairline.

5. "proven medical advances have been made in the field of nicotine addiction” says the commercial. uh huh, and they were made by tobacco companies attempting to produce cigarettes which were EVEN MORE ADDICTIVE!!! yep, those would definitely be the people to whom i’d turn for help to quit smoking!!!

6. the medications for restless leg syndrome may cause "increased gambling, sexual, or other strong urges"????! ...ok, now see, i think it's safer if only my *LEGS* are restless...

7. exactly what beverages were being served at the meeting in which the viva viagara commercial was approved, and are there recipes available online? seriously, the first time i saw it, i thought i’d inadvertently changed channels and come upon an episode of SNL featuring cast members i’d never seen before. (that faint but persistant whirring noise you can hear in the distance? that's elvis spinning in his grave!)

8. is a guest spot on walker, texas ranger the punishment for anyone who's flunked more than three consecutive classes at drama school? ...not a bad idea, really...just the threat alone would totally make me buckle down to my studies!

9. does dawg the bounty hunter not have a mirror??! hello!!!!! those folks from what not to wear need to stop harrassing soccer moms and get their skinny heinies over to dawg’s house, pronto. (would that be the crossover episode of all time or what?!)

and now, sadly, having sat at my desk for upwards of 15 minutes, it is time for me to return to my televisual prison! but i'll leave you with this thought:

if it came to a physical fight, i'd wager a modest sum that judge judy could kick dr. phil's ass.

ciao, darlings!


  1. Oh, when I taught school my students really thought WWF was real. Seriously. These babes are our future.

    My $$$ is on Judge Judy over Dr. Phil. I lve Dr. Phil, but men really are the whimpy gender.

    5 or 6 years ago I was telling my doctor that when I went to bed at night my legs constantly felt like I needed to stretch, but stretching them do not relieve the feeling...not even a little bit. He said I had RLS. I thought he was joking (pulling my leg, get it? Okay, VERY bad joke.) He told me I just needed to take some calcium before bedtime. Works like a charm. That commercial irritates me. Why take a drug with harmful side effects if all you need is a calcium pill daily. You can get a big bottle of Citrical at Costco, people! Much less expensive and harmful than a prescription drug.

    Why, with 800+ channels, is there so few good shows to watch during the daytime?

  2. 1. wwf? Used to watch when I didn't have anything else to watch! Pretty funny some of them....growling, making those faces, gestures...
    2. Timberlake? Sexy? No way!
    3. Rest....haven't seen. I only get the local TV! No commercials here!

  3. Okay your back is really hurting - you wished to STRANGLE Judge Wapner ! laughing.

    Super Yuck on Justin - maybe I am just too old now....?

    I HAVE restless leg syndrome ! and I would much rather gamble and have sex - What was that med again ?

    oh ! The Viva Viagra ! Being Elvis and Rockabilly fans.....this commercial just strikes us as WRONG and we do that in sync head turn toward eachother with silence and confusion scrunching our faces every time after it is has been on. You are tapping your toe and then you look up and yeeee- it is a Erectus Dysfunctious Commercial...wrong wrong wrong !

    And I hear you Sistah ! I said the same thing about the mirror and Dawg and that his wife must be dressing him. (explantion here : Angel Pie likes to channel surf and parks on this show...ugh !!!) DAWG - Good GAWD Man !

    Yes you have been watching bad tv.

    But I like the tip on Torchwood ! thank you !

    And Amen on the Hot Stone Pedi....ahhh.
    YOu need one. I hope the back is better after your chiro visit. That can make you crazy... !

    Am I too late ?

    Well thanks for "coming out" BTW - loved that message.

    See you at The Ball ?xo-S.

  4. When I said US- laughing - not the other one of Me's (speaking of Crazy) no I meant my Sweet Beau.

  5. Wow I was just thinking....maybe viagra does make you want to sing VVL ?? I mean...maybe it is THAT GOOD ? laughing.

    Okay I am going now before you fly swat me away....

  6. OMG...OMG...OMG!!
    I am peeing over here.
    I hope your back feels better soon.


  7. #1 Men....men watch WWF. My father is in his 50's and watches that crap. He doesn't even have the decency to be embarrassed when he's caught watching it.

    #4 Justin Timberlake...hon, I'm a grown woman, I don't think JT is sexy, but he sure does make me feel it! I like his music. Want to talk about a sexy man? We can start with Daniel Craig.

    And lastly, Dr. Phil, being a Southern gentleman and all, would not strike the petite and demure hellion that Judge Judy is. He'd be too terrified. And I confess, that I, too, love Dr. Phil.



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