step AWAY from the telly!

my back has been out for a week. it's quite a bit better now; tonight i make my triumphant return to the chiropractor's office, where i hope he will put an end to this little episode! but in the meantime, laying on the living room floor in a moderate amount of pain, there is not a whole lot to do...except read magazines (my attention span for books has now finally *begun* to return) …and watch way, way, waaaaaay too much television. in consequence, here are a few things i am pondering:

1. *who* watches wwf wrestling? no, seriously. i need to know. and if any of them are over the age of 16, we must round them up and send them to de-programming camps. (they'll thank me later...you'll see.)

2. what’s the deal with all these real-life daytime courtroom shows?! there are like 15 of them–and i honestly can’t see how even *one* survives. if i had i time machine, i’d go back & strangle judge wapner at birth, just to prevent the entire trend.

3. speaking of time machines, the doctor who spin-off torchwood started on bbc america this past weekend & it is WONDERFUL! if you are even vaguely sci-fi based (liking buffy or angel would qualify) you must watch it! (this is not a puzzlement; but talking about tv reminded me to mention it.)

4. are we thinking that grown women (or men) could actually find justin timberlake sexy????! he looks *12*, tops. even with the incipient receding hairline.

5. "proven medical advances have been made in the field of nicotine addiction” says the commercial. uh huh, and they were made by tobacco companies attempting to produce cigarettes which were EVEN MORE ADDICTIVE!!! yep, those would definitely be the people to whom i’d turn for help to quit smoking!!!

6. the medications for restless leg syndrome may cause "increased gambling, sexual, or other strong urges"????! ...ok, now see, i think it's safer if only my *LEGS* are restless...

7. exactly what beverages were being served at the meeting in which the viva viagara commercial was approved, and are there recipes available online? seriously, the first time i saw it, i thought i’d inadvertently changed channels and come upon an episode of SNL featuring cast members i’d never seen before. (that faint but persistant whirring noise you can hear in the distance? that's elvis spinning in his grave!)

8. is a guest spot on walker, texas ranger the punishment for anyone who's flunked more than three consecutive classes at drama school? ...not a bad idea, really...just the threat alone would totally make me buckle down to my studies!

9. does dawg the bounty hunter not have a mirror??! hello!!!!! those folks from what not to wear need to stop harrassing soccer moms and get their skinny heinies over to dawg’s house, pronto. (would that be the crossover episode of all time or what?!)

and now, sadly, having sat at my desk for upwards of 15 minutes, it is time for me to return to my televisual prison! but i'll leave you with this thought:

if it came to a physical fight, i'd wager a modest sum that judge judy could kick dr. phil's ass.

ciao, darlings!