THIS GUY:

lovely husband jeff, florida, may '07

(if you look into his eyes, you can see the reflection of me and my camera. this makes a for nice photo...and an even better metaphor!)

1. can pretty much fix *anything* mechanical: cars, plumbing, machinery, appliances, computers...you name it
2. loathes raspberries
3. grew up in the last completely non-dysfunctional family in america
4. eats those orange crackers with the peanut butter in them for breakfast nearly every day
5. hates crowds and cities and would live in the woods...a la grizzly adams...if he could
6. played the trombone in elementary school (...and still likes "heavy metal"...)
7. has yet to find a recipe he could not adopt, adapt or improve
8. snores at a level which drowns out jet engines
9. has eyelashes which grow so luxuriously long that he trims them with nail scissors!
10. gets up for work at 4:30am...and is thus generally in bed by about 9pm...
11. denies that he secretly has a little crush on rachel ray
12. regards the inventor of the necktie as a fiend of the highest order
13. is entirely free of all "macho man" baggage & behavior...until you cut him off in traffic...
14. was the life-long best friend of his maternal grandfather, poppa
15. has called me at lunch nearly every day of our married life...just to say "hello" and "i love you"...
16. intensely dislikes shopping, but insists on coming with me because, "there might be heavy things to carry"
17. cannot fall asleep without checking the weather channel...and listening to some of that coooooool music... :)
18. writes the grocery store list in the order of where things are in the store (and will quietly erase & re-write items i have added, if they are in the wrong place!)
19. is...unwillingly, but cheerfully...my scrapping-n-design buddy (he's started to have some really good suggestions, as well!)
20. would eat olives...any kind of olives...with every meal
21. does not particularly care about or follow any professional sports
22. is slightly embarrassed that i am writing this (he's being given ultimate veto power, however; i'll be surprised if rachel ray makes the cut!)
23. likes to sit by the window where the bird feeder is and watch the avian antics
24. knows *EVERYTHING* about me...and loves me anyway...
25. feels there are not many non-dessert items which aren't improved by adding either...a little hot sauce...OR...a lot of hot sauce...
26. is big and strong and tough and rather intimidating at work...but putty in the hands of nieces and small furry pets
27. has only visibly panicked once in all the years i have known him: the time i sliced my hand open on a wine glass that broke while i was washing it
28. needs to know, geographically, EXACTLY where he is at all times, and will pore obsessively over maps before and during any trip or vacation (his mother does this, also!)
29. looks great in absolutely every shade of blue
30. has no problem with a messy house but must have a pristine car--inside and out--at all times (...and must have ME have one, too...)
31. is regularly reduced to tears of hysterical laughter by the tv show "america's funniest animal videos" (personally, i don't find the show funny; however watching jeff watch the show IS truly hilarious)
32. likes to point out national electrical code and OSHA violations to me when we are out & about
33. knows the dates of precisely *two* birthdays: mine and his; *period*
34. still hasn't quite got over "x-files" being cancelled
35. knew what lasik eye surgery was before anyone else did...and only waited several years to have it done because *i* was nervous
36. had never ridden in a taxi until this summer
37. loves: horror, sci-fi, kung fu, and movies in which a bug, mutated by a strong dose of radiation, grows to the size of a volkswagen microbus and menaces society
38. hates musicals (but liked "moulin rouge" and "muriel's wedding"!)
39. has four titanium bolts in his lower back (which...contrary to ours and everyone else's expectations...don't set off airport metal detectors)
40. does not enjoy opening presents (??!)
41. has hair that doesn't grow long so much as *wide*
42. types with two fingers, keeping both eyes firmly on the keyboard...and regards anyone who does not type thusly as performing an unbelievable feat of houdini-level magic
43. thinks the tv remote controller is there to be used, by golly; if god had wanted us to watch an entire program at a time we'd all still have televisions with dials on them!!!
44. loves to cook, but hates to plan meals
45. is genuinely the kindest man i have ever met
46. has a wife who *adores* him!!!
47. is 47 today

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY!!!